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Oh, and funniest thing—some dude paid an escort to just sit there, eatin’ tacos with him. Tacos! I’m dyin’, that’s so stupid it’s genius! Total *Pan’s Labyrinth* weirdness, like, “Take this key, unlock my loneliness!” Ha! Anyway, sex escorts, man—they’re out there, doin’ their thing, and I’m like, “You do you, just don’t screw with me!” Respect my authoritah, or I’m out!
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