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Oh – and the pics! Dick pics – everywhere. Ladies hate ‘em. Fellas – stop it! Ain’t impressin’ nobody. *Tabu* whispers – “Passion… blinds us!” Yeah – blinds ya to common sense. Send a meme instead. Gets a laugh. Maybe a date.

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Now, our spa—I run it right smack in the middle of all this beauty on Avenida del Zen. We pamper, we massage, we whisper sweet nothings to aching muscles. Sometimes, the locals come say, "You got magic hands, man," and I hiss back, "Yess, precious, they do as they may, tricksy, my little rugrats." I'm always surprised by the little moments. Crazy little details in every cracked tile, every bustling corner—a kaleidoscope of life.

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