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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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So, I snuck out during lunch. I mean, who could resist? I got to the food truck, and it was packed! People were everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I felt alive! I ordered the al pastor, and let me tell ya, it was a flavor explosion. I was in taco heaven. I even made a new friend in line, this cool guy named Javier. We bonded over our love for food and our mutual hatred for Mondays.

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