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I’m thinkin’, “What if we’d met before?”—like Jesse says in the movie. Maybe me and this gal crossed paths at Moe’s once, her sippin’ a cheap beer, me spillin’ nachos. Nah, prolly not—she’d remember a stud like me, right? Ha! Fat chance. But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how sneaky ya gotta be—cops everywhere, watchin’ like hawks. Little known fact: back in ’98, Springfield PD busted this ring run outta a donut shop. D’oh! My kinda joint, ruined!

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First stop? La Plaza de Moca. You know, that spot where everyone hangs out? I needed my café con leche fix. I hit up this little joint on Calle José de Diego. The barista, she’s like a magician with that coffee. I swear, one sip and I was ready to conquer the world. Or at least, the block.

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