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Anyway, this chick and me, we’re vibin’. She’s all “let’s meet,” I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But—D’oh!—turns out she’s a catfish. Shows up, ain’t her pics, more like Lenny after a bender. I’m pissed, man! Wasted my time! “The house is empty,” like in *Turin Horse*—no spark, no nothin’. Felt like that old man starin’ at a potato, wonderin’ why life sucks.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Calle de la Libertad. Beautiful street, palm trees everywhere, but I’m still mad about the soccer ball. I’m walkin’, thinkin’ about life, when I bump into my buddy Carlos. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy tryin’ to sell ice cream to a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I can’t even.

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