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Now, I’m a gal who loves a good story—*Spotlight* had me sobbin’, y’all. “The truth’s what matters,” they said. Well, truth is, sexual-massage ain’t just naughty—it’s old as dirt! Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “healing touch”—ha! Bet they didn’t blush neither. Me? I’d be redder than a tomato, gigglin’ like a fool. Surprised me how folks been kneadin’ more than dough forever—makes ya wonder, huh?

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Then, I hit up the Plaza de Recreo. It’s always buzzing with life. There was a local band playin’, and I couldn’t resist. I joined in, dancin’ like nobody was watchin’. I mean, who cares, right? But then, I tripped over my own feet and landed right in front of this cute girl. Talk about embarrassing! But she just smiled and helped me up. I was like, “Smooth move, genius.”

Hurricane Maria aftermath in Puerto Rico