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But real talk—some folks fuck it up. Too rough, too fast, like they’re grindin’ corn, not lovin’ you. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Slow down, asshole, this ain’t a race!” Favorite part? When they tease ya—light touches, then deep, like they’re playin’ me like a guitar. “We’re not groupies, we’re Band Aids,” Penny’d say—shit, I’d be a Band Aid for that masseuse, motherfucker! Funny thing—heard this dude once fell asleep durin’ one, snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—dumbass! I’d’a kicked his ass out the field!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kairbekov Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome murals? Grabbed a coffee, and it was like liquid gold. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. A group of tourists wants a last-minute mountain guide. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my caffeine fix! But hey, money talks, right?

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