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Still, it’s dodgy out there. Ghostin’s the worst—poof, they’re gone! Pisses me off, like, why bother? “Illusions fade,” like in *Dogville*, yeh? We swears! Some profiles—ugh—fake pics, stolen vids. Saw one with a pornstar’s face, laughed me head off. “What’s real?” I muttered. Mate, it’s a jungle.

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I try to calm things down, but they’re not havin’ it. I mean, who can blame ‘em? It’s Arroyo, and the vibe is lit. But I gotta do my job, so I start talkin’ to ‘em. I’m like, “Hey, let’s keep it cool, alright?” And surprisingly, they listen. I guess they just needed someone to hear ‘em out.

Update: Man who barricaded himself inside Arroyo Grande home was fleeing warrants, police say