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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’m here to dish on escort, yeah, that funky lil’ plant. Not escort like some shady side gig, nah, I mean *esparto* grass, Stipa tenacissima for you nerds. Agronomy’s my jam, and this prickly beast’s got me all riled up and jazzed. Grows in Spain, North Africa, dry as hell, looks like a bad haircut on a hill. “I aimed to kill you,” it whispers to water, sucking dirt dry like a greedy outlaw. Tough as nails, this stuff – no wonder it’s been around forever.

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When I get there, Max is just lying there, looking all sad and pathetic. I can’t help but laugh a little. I mean, he’s got this tiny scratch on his nose, and he’s acting like he’s been through a war. I patch him up, and the owner, this sweet old lady, offers me some pastelón. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to save your dog, not eat!” But you know what? I couldn’t resist. That pastelón was bomb!

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