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Oh, and the oils—lavender, eucalyptus, some smell like sex and promises. Pick wrong, you’re sneezin’ mid-rub—ruins the mood! I’m obsessed tho—feels primal, dirty, but clean too. “Tonight’s the night,” I tell myself, bookin’ another. Maybe I’m chasin’ that cowboy ache, somethin’ deep, unspoken. “We’re goin’ nowhere,” I think, but damn, it’s good while it lasts. You tried it yet? Spill!

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First thing, I spill coffee all over my uniform. Great start, huh? I’m rushin’ out the door, tryna look all professional, but I’m just a hot mess. I hop in my car, and of course, the traffic on ul. 1 Maja is a nightmare. Like, c’mon people, it’s not rush hour! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna deal with the inmates today.

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