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“Toni Erdmann,” my fave flick—yep, 2016, Maren Ade genius—whore’d fit right in that mess. Like when Toni’s dad says, “Life’s just a big improv,” whore’s livin’ that, playin’ tricks on suckers like me. She’s got that vibe—half naked, half crazy, all trouble. Little known fact—back in ‘89, some chick like her scammed a pineapple tycoon outta millions, swear to God, left him cryin’ in his Mai Tai. True story, look it up—nah, don’t, I ain’t got the papers.

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I get back to work, and I’m finally makin’ progress. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of West and East Street. Two cars, both lookin’ like they just went ten rounds with a heavyweight. People are gatherin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is not what I need right now.”

Hanover Continues 300th Anniversary Celebrations