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Lemme tell ya ‘bout this one chick, right? Down by the docks, call her Red – hair like fire, legs for days. She’s slingin’ ass while I’m slingin’ fish, we’re both stinkin’ by sundown, ha! Heard she once stabbed a dude with a stiletto – not the shoe, the knife, bro! Swear to God, blew my mind when I heard that. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes carried blades hid in their garters – Red’s old school, man, keepin’ it real. Got me laughin’ thinkin’ she’d gut me if I shorted her a dime.

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous paczki. You know, the ones that make people forget their diets? Yeah, those. I’m all pumped, ready to make the best batch ever. But then, boom! The mixer breaks. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, flour everywhere, and I’m like, “What the heck, universe?”

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