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About Lodz

Escort, man, it’s a trip! Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, where Sam says, “I’m on your side!”—that’s what these folks might whisper to lonely souls, right? A little secret pact. I dig it, kinda. Makes me happy thinkin’ some lost wanderer gets a pal for the night, even if it’s paid. But—BUT—it pisses me off too! You know why? The fakers! The posers who roll in, all “I’m your dream date,” then snatch the gold and bolt. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ye scoundrels! I’d zap ‘em with my staff if I could.

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Anyway, I shove him outta the bakery and focus. I’m rolling out the dough, cutting circles, and filling ‘em with jam. The smell is heavenly. I’m in my zone. But then, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out the window on ul. Złota, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! In the middle of my baking!

18th century time capsule discovered in Polish church spire