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About Wroclaw

Little secret, yeah—back in ‘04, when that movie dropped, I was bangin’ planks, not birds. Mate o’ mine shagged a girl in a shed, said the splinters were worth it. Sex-dating now? It’s sheds on steroids—everyone’s at it! Surprised me, bruv, how many blokes send dick pics. What’s that about? “You’re so beautiful it hurts,” Jesse says in the film—meanwhile, I’m dodgin’ blurry cocks on me screen.

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Finally, I get there, and it’s packed. People everywhere, laughing, drinking, and I’m just standing there like a human shield. I spot my client, Mr. Important, chatting it up with some folks. I’m thinking, “Dude, keep it low-key. You’re not a rockstar.” But he’s loving the attention.

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