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About Gdansk

Me, Yoda, see weird shit others miss. Little fact, hmm? Old days, Russia, secret sex clubs—nobles banged in masks! Crazy, right? Now, Tinder, Grindr, same deal, just phones. Masks off, pants off, ha! Funny, it is, but sad too. Met a chick once, sex-dating app—swore she’s “spiritual,” banged in 10 mins! “Do or do not, there is no try,” I say—commit or don’t, damn it!

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I rush over to ul. Złota, where the museum is. I’m practically sprinting. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, who knew fish could draw a crowd? I’m all excited, but then I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, just staring at a tank. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just a carp.” But then he starts crying. I’m like, “What’s up with this kid?” Turns out, he thought the fish looked sad. I mean, come on! It’s a fish!

Photos: Good Friday celebrations around the world