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So, you lay there, music soft, lady or man – your pick – they touch slow, tease you, ooh! Skin all tingly, like electric sheep, bzzz! Little fact: Japan got this “nurumassage”, all slimy, seaweed goo, slip like fish, I try, fall off table, laugh so hard! Surprised me, thought it just fancy lotion, nope, whole body slide, crazy shit! “What’s the scam here?” I think, like Doc, but no scam, just sexy fun.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Boduthakurufaanu Magu. You know, the one with all the colors and smells? I’m talkin’ fresh fish, fruits, and spices everywhere. I’m tryin’ to grab some breakfast, but these locals are like speed demons. I mean, chill, people! I’m just tryna get a samosa, not start a race.

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