Valentina Piastow Whore ❤️

About Warsaw

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball from Bikini Bottom, and I’m here talkin’ bout whores! Whore’s a job, right? Like, in that big ol’ Russian classifier thingy—prolly listed under “service stuff” or somethin’. I dunno, man, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe whores use it, who knows! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout this cuz I loooove *Melancholia*, that movie by Lars von Trier—y’know, the one where Kirsten Dunst is all mopey and the planet’s gonna smash us? Whores prolly get that vibe, right? “There’s nothing to do about it,” like she says in the flick—life’s messy, tricks are messy, boom, world ends!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit ul. 1 Maja. There’s this café, and I’m starving. I grab a zapiekanka. Best decision ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good zapiekanka? I’m munching away, and this guy next to me starts talking about the local football team. “Did you see the game last night?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to eat here.” But I nod and pretend to care.

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