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About Poznan

Little known fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started way back? Like, 1960s computer matchin’—punch cards for horny nerds. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic. I’m ragin’—these fools thinkin’ they’re clever, sendin’ blurry crotch shots. Mate, I’ve seen better aim from a drunk archer. Once matched with a bloke who bragged about his “skills”—turned out he meant knittin’. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. “I choose violence,” I hissed, deletin’ the app for a week.

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Then, this dude walks in. He’s got this ancient clock, like from the 1800s or something. It’s all dusty and looks like it’s seen better days. He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinking, “Dude, this thing’s practically a museum piece!” But I’m a pro, so I say, “Sure, I’ll give it a shot.”

Bus and tram timetables at Christmas