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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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I’m lying there, laughing at myself, when this cute dog runs over. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Hey, buddy!” But then it starts barking at me like I’m the enemy. Chill, dude! I’m not here to steal your human!

Ancient Wells of Rajčica Valley, Inland Dalmatia’s Hidden Wonder