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Had one meself once—fuckin’ wild. This lass, hands like a goddess, digging into me back. Thought I’d melt, swear down. But then—bam!—she hits a knot, I’m cursing like a sailor. “You’re killing me, you muppet!” Happy? Yeah, till she charged me a ton—fuckin’ robbery! Surprised me how deep it goes—not just skin, but soul, y’know? Like Brandon’s shags in *Shame*—empty but full-on. “You can’t even see straight!”

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After that, I’m back on my post, tryin’ to catch my breath. But then, I see this group of teens on ul. Mściwoja. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a lifeguard and a DJ.” They’re jumpin’ off the pier, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna end badly.” Sure enough, one of ‘em belly flops like he’s auditioning for a fail video. I can’t help but laugh.

Polish lakeside town set to host annual country music extravaganza