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I wuz happy, like, “Whoa, she’s real!” Kinda mad too—why’s she out here? World’s messed up, man. I says, “Hiya, lady, you workin’?” She’s all, “What’s it look like, pink boy?” Ouch, burned me like Eduardo in the movie—“You’re a little slow!” I laughed tho, ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in a kimono, and it’s pouring! I ducked into a café on Rua da Alegria. The smell of coffee was heavenly. I ordered a bica, and it was like a warm hug in a cup. But then, the barista spilled it all over the counter. I was like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” He laughed it off, but I was ready to throw a sugar packet at him.

A new "beach" complete with an eco-friendly natural pool is to be built on the Tagus River in Lisbon