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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like, you hop on Tinder, Grindr, whatever, and bam, it’s a buffet of hot messes. I’ve seen dudes with bios like “just here for fun,” and I’m like, duh, ain’t we all? It’s bad bitch o’clock, I’m scrollin, judgin pics—shirtless gym selfies? Pass. Dog pics? Hmm, maybe. Fun fact, tho—did y’all know the first sex-dating site popped up in the 90s? Called “Swingers Board” or some shit—wild, right? People been horny online forever!

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Anyway, I’m in the zone, and suddenly, the power goes out! Total blackout! I’m sittin’ there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m stuck with this kid.” But then, the lights flicker back on, and the whole place erupts in cheers. It was like we just won the lottery or something.