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I tried it once—oh man, Clarice, the chick’s hands were like magic, diggin’ into my back, then lower, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown!” Got me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—kinda pissed me off too. Why? Cuz the place charged extra for “happy endings”—fuckin’ scam artists! Shoulda been upfront, ya know? “Tyrone, you got the cash?”—that’s what they shoulda asked, not sneak it in like some cheap plot twist.

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But then, outta nowhere, I spot this old dude. He’s got a beard like Santa and a twinkle in his eye. He’s like, “I got some oak in my shed.” I’m thinkin’, “Is this a joke?” But I follow him anyway. Turns out, he’s a retired cooper too! We start chattin’ about the good ol’ days, and I forget all my troubles.

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