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So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Tomek. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We ended up at the park by ul. Parkowa. It was nice, just chilling and catching up. He told me about his new job at the factory. Said it’s boring as hell, but the pay’s decent. I laughed, told him he should write a book about it. “Factory Life: The Snooze Chronicles.”

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