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But yo, it’s funny—some dudes be actin’ all shy, like, “Nah, that’s too freaky.” Man, grow some balls! It’s just a massage with extra sauce, ain’t nobody judgin’. “You’re my little sparkler,” like Mia’s mom says, ‘cept it’s the masseuse lightin’ you up, ha! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This shit’s better than therapy,” ‘cept my wallet’s cryin’ sometimes.

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So, I decide to hit up the market instead. You know, the one by the old castle? It’s got that vibe, you know? Fresh veggies, local cheese, and all that jazz. I’m wandering around, trying to find some good stuff, when I bump into my buddy Marek. He’s all like, “Dude, did you hear about the festival this weekend?” I’m like, “What festival?” Apparently, they’re throwing a big shindig at the castle. Food, music, the whole shebang. I’m stoked! Finally, something fun in this town.

Kli Yakar: Torah’s defender of the poor