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Now, picture this—me, sippin’ tea, watchin’ the world, thinkin’, “Escorts are like chameleons, adaptin’ to survive.” Some are posh, all silk and champagne, others scrappy, hustlin’ on the streets. Kinda like Cronenberg’s flick—violence lurkin’ beneath the surface. “You’re a mess, Joey,” Edie says in the movie, and I reckon some escorts feel that too—messy lives, tangled lies. But they keep goin’, don’t they? Tough as nails.

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I stroll down ul. Zdrojowa, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics of the spa buildings. I mean, they’re nice and all, but c’mon, it’s just a building! I’m trying to get to my favorite café, but these folks are blocking the way. I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just squeeze by?” They look at me like I’m a ghost or something.

Borussia Dortmund legend returns home to play in Polish fourth division