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Anyway, we meet up, me and this girl, and I’m nervous as hell—like, “Am I gonna screw this up?” I’m overthinkin’ it, naturally, ‘cause that’s my thing. She’s gorgeous, smells like lilacs or some crap, and I’m sittin’ there goin’, “Larry, don’t be the pale man, don’t freak her out!” We’re drinkin’ wine, talkin’ dirty, and it’s goin’ great—till she says, “I’m into roleplay.” ROLEPLAY? I’m like, “What, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*? You want me to be the faun?!” She laughs, thank God, and I’m saved. Turns out she meant somethin’ kinkier, which—whoa—surprised the hell outta me. Happy? Oh, I was thrilled, like a kid with a golden ticket!

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By now, I’m feeling all kinds of emotions. Happy, annoyed, surprised. It’s like a rollercoaster. I decide to hit up the local pub on ul. Żeromskiego. I need a drink after all this madness. I order a beer, and the bartender, this grumpy dude, gives me a look like I just asked for a unicorn. “What’s your problem, man?” I say. He just shrugs. Classic Laziska-Gorne vibe, I guess.

Table 1 . Typical flue gas composition at Łaziska Power Plant, Poland.