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And don’t get me started on the sneaky part! You ever notice how they dim them lights real low? Like, “Oh, we settin’ a mood!” Naw, they hidin’ the evidence, chile! I was shocked—shocked, I say!—when my cousin Pookie told me he got one. Said it was “thera-pew-tic.” Therapeutic my big ol’ behind! He come back grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ persimmons! I hollered, “Boy, you a dang fool!” Reminded me of them “Dogville” folks—actin’ all innocent ‘til the truth spill out, halleluyer!

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I start asking questions, and he’s all over the place. One minute he’s saying he was hit by a car, the next he’s claiming he tripped over a cat. A cat! I’m like, “Really? A cat?” I can’t even. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling. I mean, come on, Karlowice is a small town. Word gets around.

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