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So, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Oh my gawd, this guy’s a total Kamaji - all hands, no class!” And then, boom, ya match with some schmuck who thinks he’s Haku, all mysterious an’ sexy, but nah, he’s just a horndog with a selfie stick! *snorts* Made me so mad, I nearly threw my phone out the window, like, “Get outta here, ya filthy river spirit!”

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First job was on Rue de la Poste. Nice spot, right? But the client? Ugh, total diva. She wanted this fancy glass, like, “Make it sparkle!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s glass, not a diamond!” But whatever, I’m here to please. So I’m cutting and measuring, and boom! I slice my finger. Ouch! Blood everywhere. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a bloody glazier.”

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