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Sometimes I reckon it’s overhyped tho—like, “Oh, it’ll change yer life!” Mate, it’s a rubdown, not a fuckin’ miracle. Had one once, right, and the bird was so fit I nearly forgot to breathe—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—but then she farted mid-session. Fuckin’ killed the mood! Laughed my arse off tho, fair play. Shit like that keeps it real.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I duck into this little café on ul. Słowackiego. It’s cozy, smells like fresh coffee, and the barista is super chill. I order a latte, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, loud. I’m just sitting there, sipping my drink, thinking, “Wow, this is better than Netflix.”

Fig. 4. Reduced-to-the-pole (RTP) total intensity magnetic anomaly map...