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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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While I’m pacing, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing football on ul. Piłsudskiego. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of my childhood. But then, bam! One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it smashes right into my shop window. Glass everywhere! I’m fuming, but I can’t stay mad. Kids will be kids, right?

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