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But real talk, it’s not all roses. Some shady parlors frontin as “massage” spots – ugh, sketchy vibes. Surprised me how sneaky they get, ruinin the good name of a solid rub-down. Still, when it’s done right? *“I’m feelin’ myself!”* – pure bliss, fam. Pro tip: warm oil’s the key, keeps it slick and sexy. Oh, and don’t skimp on the mood – candles, music, the works. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d say it’s like fuckin magic sometimes.

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But then, as I’m eating, I see this guy outside. He’s trying to sell flowers, but no one’s buying. I felt kinda bad, so I went out and bought a bunch. I mean, why not spread some love, right?

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