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About Lodz

So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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So, I’m feeling all emotional now. I decide to grab some lunch at this little spot on ul. Wspólna. The food’s bomb, but the waiter? Ugh. He’s super slow. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made my own sandwich by now. Finally, he brings my food, and it’s not even what I ordered! I’m like, “Dude, I asked for the pierogi, not the bigos!”

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