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Yo, check it, I’m Apollo Creed, baby – “I must break you.” Talkin’ sex escorts today, ‘cause why not? Man, these chicas out here hustlin’, it’s wild. Reminds me of *The Social Network*, y’know? That flick where Zuckerberg’s like, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ enemies.” Escorts? They got enemies too – judgy folks, cops, creeps. But they’re stackin’ cash, livin’ fast, like Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool, you know what’s cool?” A billion? Nah, freedom, baby!

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But then, disaster strikes! I spill some on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking food disaster. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s not working. I’m just standing there, looking like a mess, and this old lady walks by and gives me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault! Blame the pierogi!”

Trump cancels Sunday visit to Our Lady of Czestochowa in Bucks County, reports say