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About Lodz

It’s sneaky, ya know? Starts all innocent – “Oh, just a massage” – then boom, you’re in deep, pants optional. Favorite part? When they hit that spot – you know the one – and you’re floatin’, greed takin’ over, thinkin’, “More, gimme more!” Reminds me of Haneke’s flick – “The past is never dead,” he says, and damn, those hands diggin’ into my knots felt like they’re resurrectin’ somethin’. Ever hear about Thai “lingam” massage? Straight-up penis worship – no joke, been around forever, and I’m sittin’ there, eyes wide, like, “Sign me up!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can you make me a treehouse?” I’m like, “Sure, kid! But you gotta promise to keep it clean.” He just grins and runs off. That made me smile, ya know? Kids and their dreams.

How I Keep Calm: Barbra Streisand in ‘Yentl’