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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin’ on this. Slow, oily hands slidin’ everywhere—damn, it’s intense. Watched “Stories We Tell” again last night. Sarah Polley’s voice whisperin’, “What’s true, what’s not?” Made me think—erotic-massage is real messy. Not just bodies, but secrets, y’know? Like, who’s touchin’ who? And why? Little factoid for ya—ancient Rome had these wild massage dens. Slaves rubbin’ senators, oil everywhere, sketchy as hell. Gets me pissed—people judge it, but never tried it! Hypocrites, man.

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I grab a ladder from the office (don’t ask why we have a ladder) and head out. The whole team follows me, still bickering about the donut. We get to the tree, and there’s this fluffy little furball just chilling up there. I’m like, “C’mon, kitty!” But it’s not budging.

Man brutally attacked with samurai sword in Poland