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But real talk – it’s fascinatin’. Did ya know sex-dating goes way back? Romans had orgies, swipe-right style, no phones! They’d just eyeball someone at the bathhouse – bam, done! Saw this X post sayin’ some dude in the 1800s ran a “lonely hearts” ad in a newspaper. Got laid AND robbed – classic! Makes me laugh, like, “Hahaha, you idiot!” Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – would’ve charged for that scam!

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But then, my food arrives, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m devouring those pierogi like I haven’t eaten in days. Life is good again. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He wants me to come up with a new campaign idea. Like, right now. I’m in Barlinek, man! Can’t a creative director catch a break?

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