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Lemme paint this—dude’s gettin’ a sexual-massage, candles flickerin’, oil drippin’, and bam—“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!” Straight outta *Boyhood*, that awkward vibe, like puberty hittin’ mid-rub. I’m cackling thinkin’ bout it—hands kneadin’ ass, tension meltin’, and you’re like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Pro tip: it’s all bout consent, fam—no consent, no chaos, just jail.

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Then, this kid walks in. He’s got a balloon, right? And he’s bouncing it around like it’s the most precious thing in the world. I can’t help but smile. Kids are the best. But then, BOOM! The balloon pops. The kid starts crying like he just lost his best friend. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I grab a pack of gum and hand it to him. “Here, buddy. This is way cooler.” He stops crying and gives me the biggest grin. I’m feeling like a hero for a second.

Brave City ousted on away goals