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About Auckland

So, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, watchin’ that movie again—lord, it’s bleak! “The wind has died,” Béla Tarr says, and I’m like, “Same, when claims pile up!” Escort’s my jam tho—little known fact: back in ’89, some dude insured his escort service—wild, right? Not cars, nope, PEOPLE. Had me hollerin’—what a hustle! Made me happy, ‘cause creativity, y’all! But then—ugh—some jerk tried scammin’ escort insurance last week. Fake crash, fake escort—pissed me OFF. I was like, “Honey, I SEE you!”

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Anyway, back to the grind. I’m in the zone, cutting and stitching, when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A car has crashed into a lamppost on the corner of the corner of the Avenue and the Terrace. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, it’s just some kid who thought he could parallel park. Spoiler: he couldn’t.

Jan Kattein wins approval for ‘staggered’ terrace on East End garages plot