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But here’s the kicker—did ya know sexual-massage can lower your cortisol? That’s the stress juice those fat cats want us drownin’ in! Science says it, not me—tho I’d say it too. Had this one masseuse, right, she was like Furiosa, fierce as hell, hands movin’ like she’s stealin’ your soul—but in a good way. “Witness me!” I’m thinkin’, ‘cause it felt that epic.

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But then, I see this protest happening outside the council building. People are holding signs about something—probably something important, but honestly, I’m too busy enjoying my pie. I mean, priorities, right? But then I see my buddy, Dave, from the community center. He’s all fired up, waving a sign. I’m like, “What’s going on, man?” He tells me they’re fighting for better youth programs. I’m all for that! So, I join in, pie in hand, shouting slogans. It’s wild!

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