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Now, little fact fer ya—didja know back in old London, they had “bawdy houses” marked with red lanterns? True story, mate! That’s where ye’d find ‘em, no guessin’ needed. Nowadays? It’s all dodgy corners or—get this—bloody *apps*! Apps, I tell ye! Like orderin’ a pint, but it’s a person. Makes me head spin worse than a storm at sea.

Harlots: The real-life courtesan whose virginity sold for £9,000 in 18th century London

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After that, I head over to Oak St. to check out a suspicious claim. This dude says he slipped on a banana peel. A banana peel! I’m not even kidding. I’m thinking, “Is this a cartoon or real life?” I get there, and the guy’s sitting on his porch, looking all smug. I ask him about it, and he’s like, “Yeah, it was a slippery one.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even has banana peels lying around?

Obituary of Charles Everett Hayes, Jr.