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But ugh, the fakes—catfish everywhere. Pics from 2010, filters thick as my skull. Pissed me off once—dude showed up, 20 years older. Nearly fed him to the dogs, Hannibal Lecter (fictional) – “I ate his liver with fava beans.” vibe. Still, when it works? Magic. Hot nights, no bullshit. Just don’t catch feels—learned that the hard way. “What’s your sin?” Simin asked. Mine’s believin’ they’ll text back. Spoiler: they don’t.

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Finally, the repair dude shows up. He’s got this wild hair and a grin like he just won the lottery. He fixes my compressor in like 10 minutes. I’m back in business! I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street starts yelling at me. “You’re ruining my garden!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I just smile and wave.

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