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She wear skirt short, legs long, like camel but sexy, ha! In movie, they say, “War is drug,” but whore? She drug too – men snort her up, can’t stop. Little fact, yes? In old time, whore in my village, she sleep with goat man for potato. True story! People whisper, “She smell like livestock,” but still pay, ha! Very nice!

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After that, I’m walking along the riverbank, just vibing. The Avon River is so pretty here. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist in my own town. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! I’m like, “Nah, mate! Not today!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, like, “You think you can scare me?”

Elephant slide inspires children's book