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Alright, here we go—escort, huh? Man, what a gig. I’m picturing it now, some slick dude in a cheap suit or a chick with heels sharper than my wit, struttin’ around like they own the night. Everybody lies, right? That’s the motto. They’re sellin’ company, sure, but it’s all a big ol’ masquerade. Kinda like in *Talk to Her*—you know, my fave flick—where Benigno’s all “I’m just carin’ for her,” but deep down it’s messed up, selfish love. Escorts? Same vibe. “I’m here for you, babe,” they say, but the wallet’s the real VIP.

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But then, just as I was getting into it, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. Ugh. He wanted me to cover a last-minute shift at the office. I was like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a flash mob!” But he didn’t care. So, I had to bail on the dance party. Major bummer.

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