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Me? I’d be rubbish at it—too short to reach the table! Hah! Imagine me, gruntin’, “I’m tryin’ to knead yer arse!” Got me laughin’—spilled me drink. But serious, it pisses me off when folk pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Bollocks! Own it, ya randy git—it’s a grope with extra steps. Still, I’m happy for the brave souls who dive in. Takes guts to lie there, bare as a babe, hopin’ it’s not awkward.

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The game ends, and we lose. I’m bummed, but then my mates are like, “Let’s hit the pub!” So, we go to the local on Western Heights Dr. I’m drowning my sorrows in a pint, and suddenly, I’m laughing again. We’re sharing stories, and I realize, despite the craziness, today was kinda epic.

'Don't panic ... but he's been shot' - Details emerge about Western Heights High School shooting