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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, fam. You gotta know the spots—like, them shady corners where streetlights flicker, or them sketchy apps ppl don’t admit they use. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m fabulous,” scopin’ out the scene, but it’s wild out there. Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: back in ancient Rome, they had brothels called “lupanars,” marked with dick carvings on walls. Ain’t that a trip? Imagine me, twerkin’ past history like, “Yaaas, queens been hustlin’!”

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Finally, I get to the office on HaSharon Street. I rush in, and guess what? My boss, Yael, is in a mood. She’s all like, “Where have you been?” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not like I was out partying on Rothschild!” But I just smile and say, “Traffic, you know?” Classic accountant move, right?

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