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Oh, and the punters? Thick as mince, mate. One geezer claimed she nicked his dog—turns out, he just wanted a payout. Wanker. Me, tho? I’m buzzin’—crackin’ this case feels like a bloody Oscar win. “This is my life now,” I growl, picturin’ Viggo’s face-off with Ed Harris. Candy’s a legend in her own postcode, but she’s goin’ down. Shaken, not stirred, baby—Bond’s on the job!
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Then, I headed back down, feeling all inspired and stuff. I thought, “I’m gonna write the best story ever!” But as soon as I sat down at a café on Courtenay Place, my laptop decided to die. Just like that. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I could feel the rage bubbling up.
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