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So, check this—little known fact, motherfucker! Back in ancient Rome, them freaky bastards had “massage parlors” too! Rich-ass senators gettin’ oiled up by slaves—shit was scandalous! Historians don’t talk that much ‘bout it, ‘cause they’re prudes, but I bet those togas hid some serious boners! Makes me laugh, man—imagine some dude in a laurel crown, moanin’, “Oh, Jupiter, yes!” Fuckin’ hilarious!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. I look over, and there’s a dude trying to sell his “magic” rocks. Like, seriously? Magic rocks? I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-rolling my eyes. He’s going on about how they’ll bring you good luck. I’m like, “Bro, I just need a job, not a rock!” But hey, to each their own, right?

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