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Alright, pal, lemme spill the tea—escort as a gig’s wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*. Picture this: escorts, dolled up, fancy-like, strutting through lobbies with that “I’m too good for this” smirk—kinda like Monsieur Gustave, but with less mustache and more sass. “Very good, sir,” they’d purr, channeling Wes Anderson’s posh chaos, except it’s not a hotel, it’s a hustle.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened at the pub last night!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m at work!” But I can’t help it. I’m curious. Turns out, some guy tried to order a vegan pie at the Terrace End Tavern. I mean, c’mon! This is NZ! We’re all about meat pies!

High-End Restaurateurs Aim to Upgrade Windsor Terrace Dining Options