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Lemme spill it—Escort’s a beaut, mate. First popped out in ’68, Ford’s little lovechild. Boxy, badass, screams “Shag me, I’m fab!” Built for the everyman, not posh twats. Had one meself once—rattled like hell, leaked oil everywhere, pissed me off somethin’ fierce! But oh, the thrill, yeah baby! Floorin’ it down dodgy lanes, wind in me barnet—felt alive, ya know?

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First off, I had to head into Karori. Now, Karori’s a cool spot, but it’s a whole different world from my forest. I mean, I love the trees, the wildlife, the peace. But the city? Ugh. So, I hop on the bus at Karori Road, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between a dude who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster and a lady with a baby who’s wailing like it’s the end of the world.

Auckland United claim national title after unbeaten year delivers four trophies